i hunger for depth.
i am one to find containers that allow me to come completely undone,
to travel outside of the ordinary.
sacred ceremony, a session with my therapist, a conversation with chosen kin, a retreat…
all offering the potential to be wildly transformational.
and yet, in the transition from the depths to the surface, i often drown.
there is something so painful about moving from oneness to separateness.
of course the latter is illusion,
yet, it can feel so so real,
as transition from intentional ritual fades away.
it is time, now, to study the art of transition.
rather than chasing the widest journeys to learn from,
there are micro-transitions that flood the day.
we move from dream life to waking to dream.
from practice to work life to rest.
even from connection and conversation with a friend into silence.
yoga teachers say: practice starts when you leave the mat.
dharma teachers say: think of after retreat as the advanced retreat.
my heart says: we are stewards to the integration that yearns for care.
just as the body needs to rest to digest food,
we can learn what is needed to support digestion of life.
no longer needing to hold what we never could hang onto,
taking in the nourishment that was offered instead,
so that it waters what is soon arriving to be lived next.
as i court this inquiry,
as i learn this fine art,
there are whispers already coming.
ones that call towards relationship with self.
how can i not lose myself as the tides change?
or maybe, just maybe, the question instead is:
as life fills me up and empties me, as it moves and changes, can i anchor into some kind of unconditional home?
wanna wonder with me?
i love you.
deep art bow to Lucy Campbell
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