I woke up with loneliness in my eyes, in my heart.
My immediate thoughts pulled me towards getting rid of the loneliness.
To stop living alone, to see friends, to call someone.
And the more these thoughts escalated, the more I pushed away the loneliness.
Pushed it far away, looked at it as an unwanted visitor,
An enemy, something to oppose and oppress, something to quiet.
But as I pushed it away, it pulled me closer, it looked at me with big, sad eyes,
And asked, “Will you stay with me?”
How could I resist?
My heart broke.
Into millions of pieces that had guarded this sweet, soft heart.
When I agreed to stay, everything felt far less lonely.
When I welcomed loneliness into my heart, we could warm each other.
I could get to know loneliness and, in doing so, I could realize how non-threatening loneliness is.
I could learn that loneliness is innocently longing for attention, just like us all.
What would it mean to give it what it’s asking for instead of pushing it away?
Love,
Gavrila Nikhila
Art Gratitude: The Loneliness of Autumn by Leonid Afremov
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