Hi, there. Thank you for your curiosity, for visiting this page, which in a way feels like a visit with me. I know that your curiosity is rooted in a calling from your soul, a place that wants to remember itself, a place that wants to return home. And I invite you home here. About four years ago, I stopped along my path, looked back, and realized I’d been walking away from home for a long time. What I write about, is my journey back home, to myself, to presence. I see this as a journey of awakening, one of remembrance, one of devotion. At first, I thought I’d start this blog to organize my writing – which had spread out all over anything I could find to write on. And I also wanted to start this blog just in case my experiences, the words that flow through, the understandings I’m understanding in my process, could enlighten you. I realize that my writing is not for me to keep. And if it could move one person, then to me, it’s all worth it.
The truth is, I realize that the world that I dream of, I must create. And that world includes honest, authentic conversation and sharing, it includes naked vulnerability; it’s a world that unifies, that weaves us together, through our most intimate experiences. It’s a world of remembrance. It’s a world where we realize that even in the loneliest of moments, we’re experiencing something that thousands, if not millions, of other humans have experienced in one form or another, because all of our unique experiences are growing out of the soil of human experience itself.
I also want to note, for those of you who have voices that want to be heard, for those of you who feel the creative impulse, that it is quite a challenge for me to publish my personal experiences. It’s not easy for us to become channels of creation. And yet, this is the way that we become free, this is our purpose as human beings. To bring what is in the dark, shadows of ourselves to the light, to invite our shadow in, to bring ourselves into integration. So may my words evoke and invite you forward, to stand in your truth, and share that truth.
I’ve realized over time that each teacher, each human, comes into this life with a unique lens that they experience life through. Conveniently, this lens hones in on what we’re here to learn in this lifetime. The lens that I see through is that of feeling. Feeling is one of my teachers, the lens that I live life through, learn from and awaken through. I want to feel good, we all do. And yet, this ends up being a tougher journey than expected. In my journey to understand how to feel good, I’ve been led to open myself back up to feeling, to allow the layers of protection to fall away, so that I can feel deeply into the truth of my being. Feeling good is not about being blissed out all of the time; it is about allowing the range of human emotions to be felt and experienced. In this journey, I also have become aware of how I avoid feeling, inevitably rejecting life itself from running through me. This shadow, the places that I find conflict with reality, is both my toughest and most profound teacher.
“Our emotions and our feelings are actually fantastic pointers to what is unresolved in our being, to what we may or may not have seen through…Emotional turmoil tells us that we have an unconscious belief that isn’t true.” Adyashanti, The End of Your World, p. 140
I am here to invite the whole of our being. My attention is focused on representing the emotions that we’ve pushed to the margins – anger, sadness, fear, grief – knowing full well that we cannot truly feel the highs of unbridled joy without the lows of our wild grief. Through my writing, I explore the shadow, the places that I turn away from in myself, and those places that I witness the world turning away from. I offer my services and my writing to heal, to awaken, to unify, to bring us back to harmony.
May you be healthy and strong,
May you be safe and protected,
May you be free of worry and anxiety,
May you be filled with joy and tranquility,
May you be free of suffering,
May you be liberated.
Originally trained as an Industrial Engineer, Gavrila Nikhila has now directed her love for processing and understanding into awakening. As an embodiment facilitator and soul activist, Gavrila is interested in pioneering new ways to honor the grieving process and remember the intuitive abilities of feeling. She is a 230 RYT, an Osho Active Meditation facilitator, Yoga Nidra facilitator, and holds sharing circles wherever she goes. Through serving as a mindfulness teacher at the Wayne Brown Correction Facility and her various meditation classes and workshop offerings, Gavrila invites people into the radical space of awareness, liberation, and self-acceptance.